| Peer Pressure |
Helping Them Handle It:
| One of the hardest challenges of adolescence is learning how to resist social pressure. |
Maybe you have noted that your child's friends have bigtime influence over everyday choices... music, clothes, language, and extracurricular activities. You may not realize, though, that parents have more influence than peers over fundamentals like values, religious beliefs, work-ethic, and life-style.
Teens may not look like they're listening to you, they probably argue with you over everything. But LISTEN UP- they really are listening to you. They are watching everything you do as they try to figure out where they fit in the world.
Challenges to teenagers come from many different directions: a challenge to vandalize a car, repeated offers of cigarettes, pressure to drink or have sex.
PRESSURE WORKS EACH WAY
"Sometimes with my friends or at a party, somebody will light up a smoke or break out some booze," says Jubal, a high school junior. "Basically I look at it as stupid, but seems like every year, more people I know are doing getting into that stuff.
"My parents strictly forbid that stuff, and if you get caught, you're kicked out of activities," Jubal says.
Peer pressure can work both ways. It can lead to good choices as well as the bad.
"Whenever I see some kid smoking, I lose respect for them," says Elanda, a student. "Not only are they damaging themselves, but they are hurting people around them."
Resisting peer pressure can be learned by practicing how to respond. Kids are confronted with many situations every day. Here are some methods to share with your child. These can help them deal with pressure from other kids.
"With my group of friends, we don't accept people if they smoke. I've seen it happen. Kids have friends who start smoking and then they're just not friends with them anymore. If smoking has to do with being accepted or whatever, not smoking makes you more acceptable than smoking." -Elanda, student
PRACTICE SKILLS WITH THEM
- Simply telling kids to "JUST SAY NO" probably
won't work. Instill in your child the confidence and social
skills they need to be able to resist social pressure without
necessarily ending a friendship.
- Listen to your child, even if you disagree with them. If you
belittle their opinions or dismiss their problems, they'll
stop talking to you. Instead, acknowledge their feelings, and
help them think through the different ways they might
respond.
- Help your child to discover their strengths and talents in
order to develop confidence and self-respect.
- Prepare teens to deal with peer pressure by talking through
the sticky situations they may face in the future. Role-playing
can be useful. Ask questions like "What would you do if your
best friend offered you a cigarette?" or "How can you
avoid getting into a car with someone who's been
drinking?"
- Acknowledge to your kids that they may face tough situations.
They don't want to be without friends or appear "not
cool." They may be unsure of how to get home if
stranded.
- Encourage your child to get involved in after-school activities, to practice social skills, make good friends, and build confidence.
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