| Prevent Teen Smoking: Insights and Tools |
| "I think who you pick for friends has a lot to do with how much peer pressure you feel." Alicia, Oregon |
When are they in danger?
You probably remember the excitement of moving up to a new school. But do you remember how it feels to walk into the lunchroom and feel like everyone is watching you?
During the roller-coaster of adolescence, these situations can be scary. Kids can be stressed by the new environment and new faces. The sudden fall of being the oldest in school to the youngest can be shocking. They will face more peer pressure to try things they know aren't right.
Pressure from friends to smoke cigarettes is one of the new challenges your child will face. A 2002 study showed that within a group of 11-17 year olds who smoked in the last 30 days;
- 73% were with friends when they tried their first cigarette.
- 64% got their first cigarette from a friends pack.
How can parents help?
Here are some ways you can help your child resist peer pressure and stay strong through challenging times.
View Life Through Their Eyes
Adolescents often struggle to understand how their peers view them. They worry about fitting in or being rejected.
Inform your child that while friends will sometimes mock her for not going along, many times they won't. More important is for her to make her own decisions.
Teenagers overestimate how many of their peers are actually participating in risky behaviors. In a recent survey teens said they think more than 50% of teens smoke (actually 25%). Make sure your child understands that the great majority of both kids and adult simply DO NOT smoke and NEVER WILL smoke!
Establish the Perimeter
Boundaries must be crystal clear for teenagers. Your rules must be crystal clear also. Crystal clear rules against smoking and drinking, and clear privileges like driving and allowances. You can debate some boundaries and rules, but on clear dangers like smoking and drinking your rules are final. Inform him of the consequences for breaking rules and be ready to enforce them.
Know Your Teenager's Friends
Let her friends feel welcome in your home - but only when you're there. They will spend more time at your home and less time in settings without supervision.
How do the kids interact? Are they respectful? Do your kids contribute when they are goofing around, or are they easily influenced by their friends? Discuss these observations with your child.
If one of her friends smokes, target the smoking behavior, not the worthlessness of the friend.
Get to know the friend's parents. Introduce yourself. Let your child know you will call the friends parents to check up sometimes.
Managing Stress
Stress factors in peer pressure and stress contributes to youth smoking. How you can help?
Watch your child for signs of stress. Some common signs are frequent headaches, feeling irritable, chest or stomach pain, anxiety, social withdrawal, or sleeping problems.
Teach your child how to prioritize. If her life is jammed with too many activities, help her decide which ones to drop.
Teach your child to keep things in perspective. Show him how to avoid making mountains out of molehills, and how to divide mountains into manageable chunks until they are molehills. Share his feelings without getting upset, even if you think its absurd... "I can see how angry you are that you were not chosen first string." Once he's settled down, show him the positive side of his life, and remind him of all the people that care about him.
Go to church with your family and study the bible. The family that prays together, stays together. Studies have shown that people with a prayer life have lower blood pressure and positive energy.
Show the way down the path of life. When YOU practice ways to reduce and manage stress, she will follow your example. Pray, exercise, sleep, eat well, and have fun!
Encourage Independent Thinking
Encourage your child to form opinions and make decisions based on her own judgement. Ask questions like, "What do you think about this new bill in Congress?", "What do you think about abortion?". Remember that when he thinks through these problems, this thinking is just as important as the answers he comes up with. "We often don't know what we think about a subject until we are asked..." The more he trusts himself, his ability to make independent decisions, and his ability to articulate his position, the less vulnerable he'll be to peer pressure.
Practice Empathy
Empathy is the ability to share feelings from another person's perspective, so as to understand their emotions. When you show empathy with your teenager's emotions, you are showing that her thoughts have VALUE. This will build trust and self-respect.
Get Involved
Boredom is often cited by teenagers as a reason to smoke. Encouraging involvement in sports, theatre, clubs, Scouting, band or orchestra, choir, church youth group, or many others can eliminate boredom and build social skills, healthy bodies, and positive self-image. Being involved in activities also exposes him to positive peers and role-models like coaches, leaders, professionals, mentors, and spiritual brethren who can reinforce positive messages and behaviors.
| Strong Minds "Somebody offered me a cigarette at a party last weekend. I said no thanks and it was over. I thought it would be some big deal, but it was real easy." - Sandra, 15 - When faced with the choice, will your teenager prevail? Teach her these 5 Knows and the 5 NOs. 5 Knows 1.) Know yourself. Think about who you are, who you want to become, and what you believe in. Stand by your convictions. When faced with the choice, ask yourself, "Does this jive with who I want to be?" 2.) Know the facts. Simple facts can make some choices crystal clear. Smoking is extremely addictive. Smoking is expensive and causes cancer. Tobacco is illegal for minors to buy, possess, or use. 3.) Know the situation. Before going anywhere with friends, know what you're getting yourself into. Where are they going? What will they do? Who will be there? When should I leave? How will I get home? 4.) Know when to ask questions. If you don't know the details, ask questions. Make sure you get answers. 5.) Know how to get help. Everyone needs help sometimes. Remember that asking for help is a sign of STRENGTH, not weakness. Think about the people in your life you trust and can turn to for guidance and support when things get tough. 5 NOs 1.) Plain and simple. "No thanks." Like Sarah discovered, sometimes the most direct way is the simplest and most effective! 2.) Forceful. Some kids will have enough self-confidence to say no in a way that their friends will never ask again. "Are you crazy? Those things will kill you!" 3.) The strict parent. Tell your child they can always use you as the way to say "NO", "My mom would smell the smoke, and I would be in BIG trouble!" 4.) The switch. Come up with a better plan. "I'm gonna go swim some laps at the Y. Want to go with? You can't smoke if you are going with." 5.) The true friend. Remind your child that a REAL FRIEND won't ditch her if she doesn't go along with the 'crowd'. Have her use the same logic with the friend, "If you were really my friend, you wouldn't ask me to do something nasty like smoking." Remind your child that, "If you have one REAL FRIEND in this life, you have more than most people!" |
| Building Confidence Teens who feel good about themselves are more likely to handle peer pressure successfully and say "NO" to smoking. Help them shine. To build healthy self-esteem, help your child discover and develop her strengths. Whether she's good at sports, music, training the family dog, or organizing neighborhood games, tell her so and give her more opportunities to use her talents. If he is skilled with computers, ask him to help you with projects. Be positive. Sometimes parents spend too much time and energy telling a child what he does wrong. Make a point to talk more often about what he does well. Show your pride. Display artwork, photos, certificates, report cards, etc. Share her success stories with relatives and friends. Teach them to learn from mistakes. Help your child see mistakes as opportunities to improve, not as failures. Talk about the things you've learned from your own mistakes. |
The Complete Smokers Rescue plus Aromatherapy System©
is now only $44.95
Our Trouble-Free Shopping Cart Resides at Ultra-Secure www.LinkPointCart.net 
CLICK HERE for Mail Order Form
Order Toll-Free 1-888-338-7909 |
|
