| Teach Kids to Think On their Feet |
Resisting peer pressures takes practice. Use this exercise to help prepare your children for tough situations.
Your child may find himself in that harsh spotlight many times during adolescence. To help him prepare for tough decisions, do this exercise together. It's designed as a discussion starter. There's more than one right answer.
Start with the following problems which give some conclusions you and your child might reach. Then do the exercises in the box. As you work through them, discuss:
The setup: Review the situation.
The deal: Discuss the pros and cons of going along.
Conclusion: Decide on the appropriate action.
What to say: Talk about graceful ways to address the situation.
Remind your child that if his friends do get angry, their anger will probably pass quickly. If not, then they are not good friends.
Problem 1: The Ride
The setup: Your girlfriend wants a ride to the mall, but you only have a driver's permit. Should you drive her alone?
The deal: If you do it, you might look cool and get to spend time with her. But it's illegal and dangerous. If you get caught, you could lose your permit and not be able to get your license.
Conclusion: It's not worth the risk.
What to say: "I can only drive if a parent is in the car. My mom can give us a ride." Or, "It's gonna be great when I get my license, then I can take you places. If I lose my permit, I can't get my license."
Problem 2: Smoking Friend
The setup: One of your best friends has started smoking. Some other friends are leaning on you to pressure this friend to quit.
The deal: If you talk to this friend, he may see you have his best interests in mind, and value you as a good friend. Or, he might not appreciate you bugging him about it. If you don't, he will become addicted and smoke forever. Your other friends may also lose respect for you.
Conclusion: It's worth the risk. Talk to your friend about quitting.
What to say: "Why are you smoking anyway?" "Don't you know it's bad for you?" "You will get addicted really fast, you know." "Do you want to smoke forever?" "That stuff reeks. Nobody will kiss you if you smoke."
| What Would You Do? Work together with your child to come up with Conclusions: and What to say: to these problems... 1. A friend asks you to carry her cigarettes in your backpack because her parents suspect she's smoking and might go through her stuff. 2. You're with friends and one of them suggests trying to sneak into an R-rated movie. 3. You're babysitting and your boyfriend wants to come over after the kids have gone to bed. 4. You're at a store with a friend and he dares you to steal a candy bar. 5. At a recent party, you tried a cigarette and drank some beer. You don't want to smoke or drink again, but at the next party your friends remember your previous actions and assume you will do the same this time. 6. A girl you like asks if she can copy your test during class. 7. A friend asks you to download a pirated copy of a movie. 8. You're with friends at a restaurant and they begin making fun of the waitress. Everyone is joining in, but you feel sorry for her. 9. Your sister is planning to have a party when your parents are out of town this weekend. She says you're invited and that you can't tell your parents. 10. A friend emails you some pornographic links and pictures. 11. A teammate on your soccer team begins smoking, and his performance drops big-time. 12. A teammate on your softball team uses drugs and carries them in her backpack. |
| "I felt like I'd let my friends down, but then I felt good that I stood up for what I believed in." Sara, Tennessee |
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